21...But Who's Counting?

I have this friend who is obsessed with the idea of turning 21. I should say she was obsessed with it, because today, the day finally arrived. I was getting daily texts to remind me that she was excited about it, as the day neared the texts got longer and filled with more emotion. Its difficult to describe exactly what this experience was like, falling short of putting someone through the same routine reminders that I am also turning 21 soon.

I’m not sure why this bothered me so. Im glad she is now 21, because she can drive (which she could do at 16) drink alcohol and come paint-balling (both 18years) and get married. But I don’t get why we have an inbuilt desire to hit the big 2-1. Does it come from our countries affiliations with The USA who only permit various activities beyond that age? Or is it simply the number that lets people think they have escaped their teenage years far enough to now be called an adult, or a young man or woman at least.

It really puzzles me. Is being 21 as good as life gets? Do people who are 20, or 22 lack something that completes them as people? Or is being 21 simply the hurdle that trusts us into adulthood so that we can look onwards and upwards to a life of continuing responsibilities and gain? Whatever reason, we live in a time that idolizes this age. Those before it anticipate the experience, and those beyond it recount of the glory days.

But what I really think, and please excuse the preposition that commenced this sentence, is that we have lost the plot. Now, I know the Jewish Jesus probably celebrated his Bar Mitzvah at aged 13, and went to the weddings of his friends and family, but I think our culture is increasingly encouraging us to become more and more self-centred. The Bat (Bar) Mitzvah was not about getting presents and having speeches to praise the child but rather about acknowledging the acceptance of responsibility in following the Torah. Marriages I’m sure were also a celebration of the decision to knit two lives into one until the end, not about dressing up for a day of photos and expense. Sure, I’m obviously a little bitter towards marriage at the moment, only because of how ungodly it has become. When 52% of all marriages fail, I cant imagine that this is what Jesus had in mind. I can though, see where the wisdom from Pauls comes in, advising us that the single life is best. Godly marriages are hard to come by these days, the ones that do last seem to be about putting up with their life partner rather than living in love.

So, sure, I’m a little skeptical. I’m not 21, but I know if I start living for that special day then is just going to pass with the emptiness that all other birthdays pass with. I’m not married, but I know if I start living out of a desire for the Wedding rather than the Marriage, then I will end up just trying to get through life rather than counting each day a blessing. I do still find joy in things, but only things of God. And sadly these days I see little God in counting the days until I’m 21.